Arezzo, Italy (2007)

We spent a week in Arezzo for Carmel’s conference, where we hung out with her old labmates from Berkeley.  Arezzo itself is nothing super special, and is interesting in that it’s just a sleepy suburban town that contrasts itself to the busy cities, poor towns or tourist destinations that we’re used to in Italy.  But, it has its charms.  The city itself has old city walls that enclose some classic architecture and nice piazzas.  Just outside of the city are the rolling hills and vineyards of Tuscany.

 

The following story is preserved for posterity so you don’t have to read it unless you were there.  It is entitled, “Being John Butler”.

We stayed in a hotel near the conference.  Initially a triple was to be shared by Pogen, Johannes, Carmel and me.  I was to sneak in/out every day because they wouldn’t allow 4 people in the room.  However, our “triple” contained only 2 beds.  Johannes decided to stay in the room of another guy, John Butler.  

The next day at lunchtime, Carmel and I were walking back to the hotel in the scorching heat when we saw Johannes running from the hotel.  As he passed us I hollered sarcastically, “Nice weather for a jog!”

Later that evening Carmel, Pogen and I were sitting around wondering if I should register for the room.  The front desk people were getting suspicious that Carmel kept telling them that I was her luggage carrier.  In fact they were giving her the benefit of the doubt by inferring that she was a whore and asked if she was staying with all those men, but at that point Carmel wasn’t really sure who all those men were.  The hotel needed to register all guests with Interpol for security reasons.  Pogen told us that Johannes told him that I shouldn’t register, but we were left wondering why.  Suddenly, Johannes and John Butler entered our room, sat down, and said that we needed to talk about the room situation.

Johannes explained that he got us into a little trouble.  At lunchtime he had returned to the hotel to pick up his bathing suit.  John reminded him to sneak in and under no circumstances ask for the key from the front desk if it wasn’t there.  Johannes had walked into the hotel, went up to the front desk, and asked for the key, which wasn’t there.

The front desk people were alarmed and very confused at this point.  They confronted Johannes suspiciously and asked who he was that he was asking for John Butler’s key.  Johannes was forced to register for the triple room and make up an excuse about leaving stuff in John Butler’s room.  He knocked on the door to John Butler’s room, and was greeted by a dark stranger.  Johannes grabbed his stuff and took off running.

But who was in the room and had the key to John Butler’s room?

Apparently John had arrived in Arezzo two days before us with his friend Rodrigo.  Rodrigo is Mexican, but to the slightly racist hotel front desk he looked like a terrorist.  In fact they had said to John that Rodrigo looked like a terrorist.  Rodrigo, like me, was also sneaking in to the hotel, but to John Butler’s room so Rodrigo was the one who had the key.  After Johannes got his stuff, Rodrigo packed up his own stuff, handed in the key, and left.  As he was leaving, the front desk people said, “You don’t look like a John Butler or a Johannes Burge.”

But we didn’t know it had been so clear Rodrigo had left.  We knew that the front desk was waiting on John Butler’s roommate, whoever that was, to register.  We decided to come clean, register me to the triple and switch Johannes to being John’s roommate.  We came down to the front desk and explained the situation.

Something didn’t come out right in the translation.                                                                                                                           

The guy at the front desk, who was suspicious and angry because he had seen Rodrigo and Johannes, was off his shift.  He had left a note with the new guy that John Butler had better register someone for the previous two nights or else Interpol was getting called.  The new guy thought I was “Rodrigo” and he retroactively registered me for the previous 2 nights, but not for any future nights.  John and I were left dumbfounded and decided not to get into it any further.  Everyone was registered, albeit not all to the same space or time.  Johannes didn’t have to be John Butler, Rodrigo didn’t have to be John Butler and I didn’t have to be John Butler.  It was truly “Being John Butler.”  

 

The next day I had to sneak into the conference to use the free internet.  Security was high due to protestors against a researcher who did animal experiments.  I told them that I had lost my badge and needed to get a new one.  List in hand, the security guard asked who I was.  I told him, “I’m John Butler.”  Carmel nearly died holding in the laughter.

 

We enjoyed the rest of our stay there.  Oh and Anna and Heather didn’t pay for breakfast at their hotel but snuck in to breakfast every day so there.

Road to Arezzo.

 

Aqueduct by the side of the road.

 

Rolling hills of Tuscany.

 

Random grapes growing by the side of the road.

 

The city walls.

 

We were greeted the first night with a banquet and show.

 

The horses definitely had minds of their own and would run off when they weren’t supposed to.

 

Jousting!

 

Carmel is pleased. 

 

Yummy Tuscan food.  We also ate gelato 3 times per day.  Did I say yum?

 

Our last night was ended with an even more elaborate show.

 

Carmel next to one of the stilt-walking fire-swordsmen.

 

For the finale they shot a ton of fireworks off of the church.