Luxor, Egypt (2007)

The Egyptian Pharaohs were getting annoyed that their pyramid tombs kept getting looted. They decided to instead hide their tombs where no one could find them—in the Valley of the Kings. Alas, all the tombs were looted, except for one—King Tut. The reason why Tut’s tomb was never raided is because he died unexpectedly as a child within months of becoming Pharaoh. His tomb wasn’t even ready yet so the contractors had 90 days to “wrap up” their work while Tut was getting wrapped up in his mummy garb. Apparently there just wasn’t enough flourish and show in the tomb to leak to the looting community. Actually, there may be more un-looted tombs. A few of the Pharaohs’ tombs are unaccounted for and remain hidden to this day.

Our guide was an Egyptologist, a professor at a poorly funded university, who needed extra money because his salary was so poor. He explained that there were 2 mysteries to the tomb: 1) How could the Egyptians build and paint the tombs in the dark? There is no evidence of smoke on the walls/ceilings. 2) How could the Egyptians breathe if there was no ventilation? Carmel informed him that a lone candle would provide enough light for dark-adapted eyes; the smoke would be so minimal so as not to leave a 5,000 year trace. Plus, the smoke would be ventilated. But how? Well that was a stupid mystery because the openings of the tombs were big enough to walk through, paint, bring jewels/mummy in, and thousands of tourists to visit. The Egyptologist would hear none of our explanations.

The valley was chosen because it looks like a natural pyramid.

A model of the valley that shows where all the tombs are.

Underneath the model valley.

Carmel and her mom enter a tomb.

Looking natural in front of Ramses IX’s tomb. One of the guides thought I was Egyptian and said, “Welcome home!” I replied, “It’s good to be back.”

Welcome to our tomb. Please enjoy your stay. For eternity.

This was the temple of the lone woman Pharaoh. They called her King.

Queen Carmel.

Josh the Explorer.

Carmel’s 5-minute friends.

Two random statues not really near anything else.

A nearby fortress/temple.

The walls were a giant book.

Well-built structural supports.

Karnak Temple.

The Egyptians cheated by holding up the walls with a big pile of mud.

Another clever design—the stone blocks latched together like puzzle pieces.

Obelisks.

Powerful pillars prop pieces profoundly.

Good place to play hide-and-seek.

It’s striking how well the color has been preserved.

More long lasting color.

Roman graffiti.

Napping next to the sacred lake.

The fertility scarab grants you fertility if you walk around it 7 times.

Chillin’ at a café.

A mosque built right on top of the ruins at Luxor Temple. Also in this photo are columns in the shape of the papyrus plant.

Path guardians.

More ferocious path guardians.

There is supposed to be another matching obelisk on the other side of the entrance. That obelisk was traded for a broken clock and now stands in Paris.

Here is an excellent Photoshop job of adding the Paris obelisk to its rightful place. The French background buildings are included as reparations.

A young king and queen. Our guide made lots of nose jokes (nobody knows!).

Lunch on the Nile.

The Agatha Christie (Death on the Nile) boat floats by.

Happy about the swan creampuff.

Walk like an Egyptian!